Tuesday, September 26, 2006

alarm clock

Today the alarm went off at 7am. Windows open, cold air rushing in and a spotlessly clean apartment. It took me a moment to realize that this was the day M. leaves for China. We hopped out of bed, still delirious from sleep and started going through the motions of getting ready for any other day. The only change in routine was the luggage in the front hall.

He drove to the airport and as we pulled up to the drop-off, I felt fine. There were no tears and I knew I was ready to face this two-month period with grace and maturity.

Then I cried and listened to sad music the whole way home. Oh well, I’m a girl. What else can I say?

Alarm Clock

Today the alarm went off at 7am. Windows open, cold air rushing in and a spotlessly clean apartment. It took me a moment to realize that this was the day M. leaves for China. We hopped out of bed, still delirious from sleep and started going through the motions of getting ready for any other day. The only change in routine was the luggage in the front hall.

He drove to the airport and as we pulled up to the drop-off, I felt fine. There were no tears and I knew I was ready to face this two-month period with grace and maturity.

Then I cried and listened to sad music the whole way home. Oh well, I’m a girl. What else can I say?

Alarm Clock

Today the alarm went off at 7am. Windows open, cold air rushing in and a spotlessly clean apartment. It took me a moment to realize that this was the day M. leaves for China. We hopped out of bed, still delirious from sleep and started going through the motions of getting ready for any other day. The only change in routine was the luggage in the front hall.

He drove to the airport and as we pulled up to the drop-off, I felt fine. There were no tears and I knew I was ready to face this two-month period with grace and maturity.

Then I cried and listened to sad music the whole way home. Oh well, I’m a girl. What else can I say?

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Love

Last night Mike came to my house around 3:30. He wanted to spend time with me before he leaves for China. Sweet, sincere and loving. We went with the whole group (Kelley’s, Hall’s and Fran) to Sunnyside Bowling Alley. I bowled a seventy-eight. Mike and Eddie were fiercely competitive. Eddie won one game and Mike won the other. If they had played one more round, my money would have been on Mike. Piper got Dora stickers from a machine. Everyone was happy. Watching Piper bowl is one of the most adorable sights to see and in my humble opinion, the girl is a natural.

We then ventured over to BJ’s for some snacks for dinner. Cold cuts, cookies, candy, cheesecake, chips. Do all comfort foods begin with the letter “C”? Mike and I came up with the ingenious idea to make a 7-layer Mexican dip. Neither of us knew how, so we headed over to Stop & Shop to see if this was plausible (or if they had a pre-made dip). They didn’t. I became a fugitive and ripped open a package of Fat Free Cream Cheese because of the promise of a recipe inside. I had no intention of purchasing the fat free version and Mike was impressed with my moxie. I think he was surprised by my “bad” side, which rarely surfaces.

By the time we got back to my house, it was 7:30. We were starving and the dip just seemed to be too difficult. Our stomachs were growling and there was no way we were stopping to read directions.

The night rolled on in a blur of food, music, football watching (by the boys) and laughter. Piper discovered my American Girl doll collection. The spark was ignited. She has years and years and years of doll playing to look forward to. I’m almost envious. Unwrapping Samantha Parkington on Christmas morning made my 9-year-old self happier than words could express! Nothing could top that feeling.

But nights like this come very close. These are the nights I live for and love. I’m at peace with my surroundings and those who inhabit my world. Isn’t this what life is supposed to be? Why fight it or question it or look for problems? Be happy in the moment and hold on to those you love. Playing Scrabble with Mike until dawn was icing on the cake. JIBE, BE & WED, who knew those words could make me laugh until my sides hurt. And the fact that he loves me even though I’m horrible at keeping score makes everything perfect.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Forget the world...

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

On the Edge


The Crocodile Hunter died on Monday, September 4th. For some reason, be it the images of his adorable family or his constant smile and zest for life, this has touched my soul and my heart breaks for his family.

He lived a life on the edge,
chasing the wild,
facing the fears
with the heart of a child.

Always a smile,
a laugh and a wink,
we held our breath
we couldn't even blink.

An adventure, a journey
a dare every day.
Steve Irwin we'll miss you
in our thoughts you will stay.



My thoughts and prayers go to his family.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Cohabitation Nation




Over one year ago my boyfriend asked me to move in with him. Most women would have been filling their cars with all of their belongings and speedily heading down the road toward cohabitation, the first hurdle on their way to wedded bliss. Was I ready to give up my sweet smelling, magnificently decorated, cozy home for raised toilet seats, beer cans and boxer shorts scattered across the bedroom floor?

I didn’t turn down my boyfriends offer immediately. Technically, I agreed to move in and then found myself reluctant to actually make the move, essentially I was stalling. What I realized during this period (and after hours of research to help justify my nerves) is that many couples are jumping into cohabitation faster than generations past. Today cohabitation is the “norm”. Couples are much more eager to test drive their relationship before stepping into marriage. Many relationship coaches agree that living together before marriage is beneficial and a great way to see if you are compatible on a daily basis.

However, I said no. Why did I reject “playing house” with the love of my life? And why are more women reverting to the “old fashioned” belief of keeping the mystery alive.

According to the U.S. Census, nearly 5 million unmarried couples live together. There has been a 72% increase in cohabitation over the past decade. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that more than half of women in the United States have lived with a significant other by the age of 30. Convenience, saving money, and to test the waters for marriage are key factors in a couples’ decision to shack up. But is this really the smartest route to happily ever after?

The American Sociological Review found an 85% failure rate among those who live together before marriage. Recent studies from both the US and Europe show that couples who live together before marriage divorce at higher rates than couples who wait until they say their vows. The risk of divorce after living together is 80% higher than the risk of divorce after not living together. (American Sociological Review)

Are couples who live together before marriage doomed? What is the role of cohabitation in the declining rates of marriage?

Linda Marshall, a Cincinnati-based relationship coach, says that, while more couples’ are cohabitating, that trend isn't necessarily proving to be beneficial. Most cohabitating couples are not living together after four years. "The marriage rate is declining," she says, "but more people are cohabitating, and the failure rate for cohabitation is higher than marriage."

A recent study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that couples who get engaged before living together are happier before and after marriage than couples who cohabitate before setting a date. However, according to the 1997 Durex Global Sex Survey, people who live together but aren't married report the greatest frequency of sex. (I have a feeling this would be the one statistic to stand out in the minds of most readers.)

So maybe I should wait until I'm married?

(Image courtesy of DailyCandy.com)